But that's okay.
Yes, it really sucks sometimes. And no, you can't put on your best pouty face forever.
I am friends with some really great people, and I do my best to be there for them however I can. I don't ask for a lot, and I repay whatever favors I do ask for generously (at least I think so). Today I had a musical review performance with a few of my theater friends, and I asked about ten or fifteen of my closest friends here at College X to be there and hear me sing a solo for the first time in my life.I emphasized how much it would mean to me to have them there. I batted long eyelashes and made my best "Bambi" face. Really, I did everything but bribe people to show up.
When it came time for me to sing "I Dreamed a Dream" to an audience of thirty people only one of my friends had shown up, and I hadn't even asked her directly to be there. I was hurt, to say the least. I sang the mournful song with this energy, and apparently (the director told me later) even managed to make the audience cry.
The show was about an hour long, and I really wondered what was so critically important that many of them had said they would be there, and then decided later not to show up, or even call and say they couldn't make it.
I really don't care. I asked one friend, and got a mumbledy-jumbledy answer about work and an art project. I would probably get similar answers from the others if I asked them as well. I could be seriously pissy about it, or I could just express my severe disappointment, and leave it at that. I don't want to hear excuses - I manage to make it to all of their events, and they didn't see fit to return the favor. Which is completely their right. Not everyone likes musical theatre.
At the same time, the performance wasn't for them - it was for me. I have never gotten the chance to sing a solo song in four years of theatre. That's four plays and five musicals. It felt amazing to know I moved an audience, and finally had the courage to really sing my heart out. That's worth a lot.
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